I, Iron Maiden
Nicko: Are we off?
Nicko: A-one, two-two, th... Er... three.
Bruce: I don't know what this bloody track's doing there... bloody track. What are these bloody knobs?... What is?... What are you doing here? What about doing all this bloody music? Stop that! Stop that Nicko! Bloody hell! I've had this! What about the bloody deadline? Pissing about in the bloody studio all the time! I mean I'm bloody sat here working my fingers to the bone, trying to get this bloody album out at the top of the bloody artwork and Steve wants some bloody blobby tatoo on his bloody willie to draw the bloody head in. What the bloody hell do they think I am? I've bloody got to walk into the bloody EMI, Capitol, and the biggest bloody record companies in the bloody world and say "Look here's a bloody picture of a bloody Eddie with a bloke and his ⊂⊃ing ⊂⊃"! What the bloody hell do you all think they're gonna make of that?
Why can't they write songs about proper things like cricket? Aaargh, God! Boycott! There we go, man! There, man! They're writing bloody stupid songs these day, you know what I mean? Gremlins Two the bloody great film, you know. If I'd wanted the band to be bloody in it well they'd be bloody in it and all this, you know, bloody stupid. Bloody blood everywhere, it's brilliant! Bloody hell, where's the bloody cricket? I know it's christmas! It shouldn't make any ⊂⊃ing difference should it, they should be putting cricket on. Speaking of christmas, I invited some bastard round at christmas. He ain't paid me for the bloody turkey yet. What did he have? Two-thirds of a breast and half a thigh. That'll be five pounds sixty-three pence. What a cunt, there's some bloody arseholes around these days. You never know, they stab you in the back as soon as look at you.
Nicko! Nicko! Nicko stop wearing that bloody jacket in those photo sessions. You look bloody pregnant, man. Oooh, don't give me that stupid look. How many bloody chins have you got? Never mind how many chins I've got. How many bloody chins have you got? Couldn't you dress appropriately on a golf course, Nicko. Nooo! You don't wear... You wouldn't come onto a bloody golf course or a bloody drumkit wearing a bloody... a bloody silk bloody satin bloody whatever the bloody hell it is, would you? Well, I don't care if you're a pop star, you're a bloody... you're on a bloody golf course now. You're bloody embarrassing me. You're embarrassing me. You come with a bloody jacket and tie next time, I tell you.
Now, shut up 'cos I'm going to address... no, I'm not gonna bloody address the envelope, I'm gonna address the ball. Right, I'm adjusting the ball. I'm standing here right now, ok. Where's the bloody ball? Right here, right. See now... Fault! Fault! Get out of the bloody way, you stupid...! Get out of the way, you stupid arseholes! Get out! I'm bloody going to play the f... I'm bloody going to play the ball! ⊂⊃ing f... I'll hit them on the bloody head never mind. Right. Here we go, right. Whooooo... Bastard! Bollocks off! ⊂⊃ing hell! ⊂⊃! ⊂⊃! ⊂⊃! It's all you bloody fault. It's all you bloody fault. It's all... I can pick it up, can't I? Why not?! What is it? What? What's up with the ⊂⊃ing rules? What bloody rules? These stupid bloody rules. Well how should I... Where is it? In the water!? What am I suppos... Look! Well you'll have to get it. It's your bloody fault. You bloody get it! Yes, now! I'm not... I don't care if it's not part of your job description. Record producer? Wha... Well you'll never bloody work again. Get in that bloody water now or you'll never bloody work again. Bloody nerve! Record producer! You know who I am? What do you mean you've never heard of me? You must have seen me number plate, it's on me Range Rover. Where do I live? Well how should I know if there's any mountains in Bayswater? I only go out to get the Sunday papers! Anyway they're bloody late, aren't they?
You know, I mean... I mean what good is the bloody music without the... see, what good is the bloody music without the sleeve I ask him. No! No! No! Nobody's bothered about the music Steve. Only you and the fans. I mean... I mean if it wasn't for the bloody fans I wouldn't be here! You understand? You know, I mean I'm only bloody... I'm not doing this for fun! You know, I mean... Steve... No, no, no. Steve... No, no, no. No need to talk to me like that Steve. Now look... Now look, I'm only arguing with you for fun, Steve. No, of course I don't mean it. I just want to give you the you know... drive you to an early grave, you know.
13 kwietnia 1992, Iron Maiden